You win
by cielxxzero
Summary: Living with your shy but assertive boyfriend isn't a walk in the park. Especially if you lack any intimate skills at all. Let's see how this goes.


"Canadian, are you in?"

After knocking on the door a couple times, and watching the neighbors stare, I've decided I'd be stupid to actually wait on him. So I dug into the back of my jeans and fished out the spare key.

It'd be nice if I actually got a response once in a while. Shoving the key inside and stepping inside, I called out again.

"Hey are you in yet?" I had dropped my bag onto the ground, and took off my coat, lying it on the couch. Usually he gets in before me, maybe in the shower?

I decided to head on back to check. But then a pair of thin arms had grabbed me around my waist.

"Shata! You're home!" The arms squeezed tight, as a pair of lips brushed against my neck.

"I've missed you…."

I froze, then sighed.

"I knocked, you didn't answer. Only to creep on me?"

A soft giggle escaped his lips, as his hands slipped under my shirt, stroking my stomach.

"I meant no harm, I just wanted to surprise you"

I felt a shiver throughout my body, and shrugged him off, turning around.

"How come you never open the door for me?"

I eyed him carefully, watching him avert his eyes for a moment before meeting mine again. His dark eyes filled with wonder and depth. But everything else, so childish. His pale skin poked out under his thin loose t-shirt. His long, scrawny arms by his sides, looking ever so awkward. I couldn't help but laugh at how disorganized he looked.

"Why are you laughing?!" His thin arms wrapped around my waist again, with his face buried into my chest.

"This is why I don't open the door. You make fun of me!" His thin arms squeezed tighter pulling me to him.

"I want you to make fun of me alone" His breath was soft on my chest, and his hands holding me so cautiously.

I held him close, and kissed his cheek.

"Aww, how sweet are you" I wrapped my around his back, holding onto him.

Despite him being taller than me, he would always come back and hide in my chest. It was so easy to get him embarrassed. Anything I would say, would get him red, and into my chest. As odd as he was, he would always sweet. Never to get annoyed by how much I'd tease and taunt him. In fact it seemed to draw him more to me.

"Shata?"

His breath on my chest, felt warm. His hands slipped under my shirt again. His warm hands on my bare skin felt nice. I held him tighter and mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"You came home later today…later than usual"

His face was still in my chest, but I could tell it upset him. His voice was lower than usual.

I pulled back and looked at him. He looked slightly upset. His eyes seemed to be annoyed. His hands were rubbing against my skin a bit impatiently. As if I owed him an explanation.

"Um…are you okay?" I leaned in closer to his face, searching for anything that might explain why he seemed upset.

"Something came up…I ran into Christine from a couple semesters back and we talked for a bit…"

He looked at me straight on, and replied without any hesitation.

"You could've told me" His fingers dug into my skin, making me shift uncomfortably.

"I was going to. Now. When I got home" I looked at him confused. He wasn't the type to complain or whine over simple matters, especially not because I came home half an hour late.

"Shata, I see you less and less now. I would like some notice, if you are going to come home later…" He rested his head on my shoulder, breathing slowly.

I wasn't sure if he was mad or simply annoyed about it.

"I didn't think it was going to be an issue?" I pulled away from him and grabbed onto his arms.

"….Tony, are you actually upset over this…?"

He looked up, and stared at me coldly. Something I've never seen from him.

"This? Just this? No I'm upset over all of this!"

He wasn't yelling, bit was loud enough to shake me all over. I stepped back and asked quietly.

"What do you mean..."All of this?" All of what?" I was worried. Tony never yelled, never got angry….not with me….

He shook his head, and turned away.

"Forget it. Talking about it won't change things"

"Tony please, tell me" I took half a step forward, and held his hand. It was warm, so very warm.

"Shata, I like you….I do very much. I came all the way here thinking we would live together. But then when I get here. You tell me you can't stay with me. You leave me here alone every night. Then the time I do get to see you, you either have to leave early or come home late, without any explanation. Shata, I care about you so much, yet you don't seem to give my feelings any thought. Please don't disregard my feelings for you. I'm a person, a human being the least you can do is treat me with respect"

He turned to me, with his faced unchanged. But I saw the pain in his eyes.

I'm not him though. I caved. The tears rolled down my cheeks as I turned my body away. He was right every word of it. I said so much, yet never kept my word, but he still accepted me….How cruel was I to hurt him over and over and not even give it any thought.

"Tony…I'm sorry…" The words were caught in my throat, I couldn't say it. I couldn't bear this. I'm not confrontational like him, I can't do what he can. I attempted to leave, to get away from the pain. But Tony wouldn't let me. His arms wrapped tightly around my chest holding me in position.

"Shata, stop. Stop running from everything. You're not alone. Let me help you." His arms held me securely, directly over my beating chest. My body ached. I held my head down low, as he walked me to his bed.

"Shata? Say something, anything…." He lifted my face, looking at my tear filled face. He took my hand, interlocking his fingers in mine.

I couldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I was so horrible. I did leave him, I did lie to him, and still his feelings were the same. What could I possibly say to someone, who had no faults? But as always, it seems as though, whenever I'm stuck he's there to pull me out….

Tony leaned in, and kissed me. The kiss was an exact example of who he is. Direct, to the point, and knowing his boundaries. His lips were gently pressed onto mine, as his lips gently started to part. His other hand, crept behind my back, reassuring me.

I melted into his arms, pressing mine against his. I squeezed his hand gently, as I felt the heat from my body all the way to my cheeks. I hated how he could make me melt during times like this. I shouldn't be treated the way I do. I'm so unfair to him, yet he is always sweet…I could be better, for his sake….

Tony released my hand, and wiped away the tear that trickled down my face.

"It's okay I didn't want you to get upset over it. I just wanted you to know how I feel…"

I couldn't look at him, it was too soon. His words were still fresh in my head. I nodded slowly, then muttered.

"I'm sorry…I am"

Tony looked at me, and sighed.

"We'll talk about this another time. Please don't cry." He buried his face into my chest once again, pushing me back onto his bed.

I held back a giggle, as his lips brushed my bare skin. His hand slipped under my shirt again. His breath was slow, on my chest. His hands trembling slightly, as they reached my breasts. I froze, and asked.

"Tony, you okay?"

I wasn't exactly uncomfortable with his hands all over me. I kind of end up panicking as soon as he does. I leaned towards him, watching him carefully.

Tony's face was red from embarrassment. His hands were still shaking, as he quickly averted his eyes to my chest.

"Could I take if off….I want to touch it bare" His voice was so low, but clear. He said what he wanted without freezing up, just embarrassed by it though.

It was my turn, to go red. I felt the heat in my cheeks, and nodded slowly. It was cute, when he was the only one embarrassed. Plain awkward, if both.

Tony's hands slipped to my back, holding me close to his chest. His hands fumbled slightly, before he was able to undo my bra. After he unhooked it, he rested his head on my shoulder breathing heavily. His hands stroked my skin slowly but gently. When his hands, finally reached the front of my chest. He looked up at me and leaned forward to kiss me. As I wrapped my arms around his neck, I felt his hands on my breasts. His movements were gentle. His hand directly over it, while his fingers stroked gently. I squeezed him tighter, while his other caressed gently, making me shiver all over.

Tony pulled away, and smiled.

"It's soft…and smooth" He rested his head on my chest, with his hands still on my breasts.

I blushed again, and replied hastily.

"Of course they are, and you knew that."

It was his turn to giggle. He giggled and kissed my neck softly replying.

"I know, I like saying it" He whispered softly then added.

"You like hearing it too…"

My whole face was red, as I covered my face.

"I'm the mean one. No teasing me. I'm the one that should tease"

Tony squeezed once more, and whispered.

"Your fault, you're a bad influence."

I shook my head, in denial and replied.

"I am not! I'm nice…ish"

Tony laughed, and whispered softly.

"Okay, you win I lose. Now please, take your hands off your face"

I sighed and removed my hands, bitterly.

"I still won."

Tony leaned in and kissed me again, grinning.

"Yes, you did"

I flushed again, and looked away.

"…Your hands are still on my boobs you know"

He looked confused for a moment then laughed.

"Yeah I know" His fingers began to stroke them again, ever so cautiously.

I shut my eyes, biting onto the insides of my cheek. As embarrassed as this was making me, I really like the feel of his hands. They were so gentle, and thin. It made me shiver all over. But once again, I was caught by surprise.

Tony pushed me down onto the bed, with him over me. His hands weren't on my breast anymore, but firmly holding my arms down.

I looked up at him amused and asked.

"Oh, you finally ready for some s&m fun?" I couldn't contain my laughter and exploded.

Tony was always the submissive one. I would always push him around, and taunt him daily. But shortly after getting close, he seemed to be the one taking charge, and initiating everything. Still it was nice, harassing him.

"You're going to work, later aren't you?" His face was red, but he recovered quickly.

I looked up at him, confused. He knew that, why ask?

"Yeah, at 5. I have to leave by 4. I didn't eat anything. So I have to go get lunch then go. Why?"

He looked up at the clock, at the center of the room, and replied.

"It's ten after three, and I wanted to talk to you about something"

I was completely lost. What did he want to talk about? I had already covered this month's rent and working on the next. Was he having money troubles? Or was it because, he was alone every night? I have him a couple hours each day. Except on Wednesday and weekends, which he practically saw me the whole day. Was he mad because of it?

"Okay...about what?" I didn't know what to expect and at this point was more scared than curious.

Tony exhaled and started slowly.

"Shata, we've been living together for a month now. And still haven't had sex." He stopped, and waited for my response.

I was shocked! Tony was the one that kept saying we should take it slow, because he wasn't sure he was ready. But now this? What happened to being shy, "taking it slow" Tony?! This seemed far too fast…

"…What? What are you saying?" I had attempted to sit up, but Tony held me down. His grip was firm not tight.

Tony lessened his grip, but still held me down before continuing.

"I like you…You know that. In the past couple months. Well nearly a year I'll say, I've known you I've liked you. I know I wanted to take it slow, but now being with you, I don't feel as shy about it."

I stared at him speechless, but managed to mutter.

"So because we're together now…..you're no longer embarrassed and want do it?"

Tony released his grip, and exhaled loudly.

"Waheda, we're not kids! We're both adults, and are capable of making a decision about this." He grabbed onto my arms, yanking me up and continued.

"We're together now. Doing things like that is normal for people going out. I'll understand if you're not comfortable. But I just wanted to say, I want to"

I still didn't understand, why he was telling me all of this right before work. I had Wednesday off…we could've talked about this then.

"Okay, but why tell me this all now?" I wasn't feeling too comfortable about this…

Tony released my arms, and slipped his around my chest pulling me close to him.

"I wanted you to start thinking about it…and…"

His hand slipped under my shirt again, but this time he pulled the bra out…

I looked at him, and then my bra in his hand.

"Um…any reason why you decided to take my bra right before work…"

Tony set aside the bra by the edge of the bed, and took my hand in his.

"Till now the most you've let me done is touch them. Occasionally, let me sleep on them…over the clothing"

I flushed red, and shot back instantly.

"You had just groped them minutes ago!"

Tony grinned and replied.

"I touched them, felt them, and stroked them. I didn't grope them."

I felt my face heating up and I glared at him, angrily. He always found ways to correct me, in whatever I said. At times, he was such a pin, for being such a smartass.

"Point taken, you've groped them. What do you want?"

Tony smiled, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Waheda, I like you. But I feel as if we're not going anywhere. You still shut yourself away from me, and bottle up anything that bothers you. I'm not saying now, but please open up to me."

I felt so uncomfortable in his arms. What he said was true. I hated how easily he was able to figure me out. I try so hard to keep myself away from others, yet he's able to look inside ever so easily.

"We are getting somewhere. I can talk to you fine now. That's huge!"

Tony's arms slipped under my shirt, and around my waist. His thin fingers felt so warm against my skin. He tugged me closer to him, till our faces were inches apart.

"It's a big improvement. But it doesn't seem as though you're any closer to me…" His arms held me firmly in place as he went on.

"For example now, you're very close to me. Physically only inches apart. But…emotionally…aren't close to me. Waheda, I want you to be close to me. Not by me forcing you to me but actually wanting to be close to me…open with me"

I turned away, avoiding his eyes. He was right…always right. I hated him for always being right, and hated myself for allowing myself to feel this way. Realization when trying so hard to bury something away is so painful…

"I know" It was all I could say…once again he found a way to stab me with the truth.

Tony took his hands off my wrist, and from under my shirt, then took my hands again.

"I know it's a lot to dump on you before work, but I wanted to tell you, how I felt" He squeezed my hands gently, still trying to make eye contact.

I couldn't look at him, I'd crumble if I did. I wanted to leave, now. I couldn't bear anymore of his "feelings" Any more, and I'd crack. I nodded quickly, blinking quickly to avoid the tear from forming.

Tony sighed, and started again.

"Waheda, please look at me. Tell me what's wrong… Should I have not said what I did? What's bothering you? You can tell me anything. Anything you want…"

I shook my head, and took off my glasses. My eyes felt so moist. I knew they'd betray me, and the tears would leak out. I wiped my eyes, trembling slightly. It was bad enough, he made me feel like crap, but now to cry in front of him. Could things get any more painful for me…

Tony didn't say anything, but I could feel his eyes still on me. Instead he did something, even I wasn't prepared for.

I felt his thin fingers again, but this time not on my skin, but on my shirt.

Tony had been working his way, bottom up unbuttoning my shirt. By the time I realized what he was doing, he was finished.

"I know how this must feel for you. I won't say anything else. Just let me hold you."

After all was unbuttoned, he pulled apart the shirt and rested his head on my chest.

I felt my skin turn to ice as I felt his skin on mine. His lips brushed against my left breast, as my skin heated up. His hands held me close on my back. His smooth, warm hands made my back tingle. The feeling of his skin on mine felt so good, but scared me ever so much. I worried my heart would give away how panicked I truly felt.

Tony pressed his face deeper into my chest, and murmured.

"Its half till four, don't worry I'll make sure you won't be late."

I mumbled a quick thanks, before shutting my eyes. The feeling intensified so much more, I could feel his slow breathing, far more clearly now. The beating of my chest rang so loudly in my ears. His soft lips occasionally brushing against my breast…

"Waheda."

I opened my eyes instantly and sat up straight. My neck cringed, as my vision came back. My neck was sore, my chest felt very warm. Tony sat in front of me with his warms loosely around my waist.

"Did I fall asleep? I'm sorry, I'm tired."

Tony looked at me, and nodded.

"Yeah, you did almost instantly.

I flushed red, and put my glasses back on. I didn't want him to see my sleep. No one had that right to. I don't drool or snore, but still no reason why he should.

Tony leaned in close, and asked directly.

"Do you usually fall asleep that fast?" His eyes seemed to be searching answers. Answer I may or may not have.

I blinked and replied, clueless.

"Um, yeah? As soon as I hit the bed. I'm asleep within five to ten minutes. It never takes me too long to fall asleep…Why?"

Tony smiled, and pulled me gently to his face.

"That was under five minutes. You fell asleep instantly. Your arms curled around my back clinging onto me. I felt you breathing on my shoulder. Quite silent. Your chest wasn't beating as fast. You were so calm and comfortable, I couldn't believe it was you. A part of you I've never seen nor believe existed."

My face burned from embarrassment as I shoved him aside. I grabbed my bra, and got off the bed, trembling all over.

"Shut up! Don't talk about it!"

Tony grabbed my arm, and stepped out of bed as well. He held me tightly and brushed his lips against my neck, while wrapping his other arm around my waist.

"It's my first time seeing you, so calm and content. Of course I'm going to talk about it." His hand slid up to my breasts once again, caressing them gently.

I felt a shiver down my whole body, and shook my head defiantly.

"I have to go…I'll see you tomorrow…You can talk about it, all you want then."

Tony snickered, and pulled me back till I was facing him.

"You only stay for a couple hours, but will do."

I could've sworn I saw a wink in his eye. Oh well. I sighed and glanced at him, annoyed.

"I need to go…now."

Tony released my arm and nodded.

"Yeah, you're right. Here's my goodbye kiss."

Tony leaned in slightly, and to my surprise pulled apart my shirt and kissed each breast. The first one, he held for a good two seconds. Holding onto me gently. By the time he had gone for the second, I thought I would faint from embarrassment.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then Waheda."

He took the bra from my hand, and slipped it over my chest. I felt his hands behind my back, hooking it. His hands returned to my chest as his finger slide across my breasts. He smiled for a bit, before buttoning up my shirt.

I stood there motionless. The inside of my head had already exploded, I wasn't entirely sure how I was still standing up straight. My chest was beating so fast, I was sure I was going to pass out. But instead I decided to run out, before I really did pass out.

"Bye Tony…I'll see you tomorrow."

I raced out of the room, back into the main room. I grabbed my scarf and wrapped it around my neck. I had an unusual way of wrapping it, but it was going to have to wait. Any more of Tony's affections and my legs wouldn't be able to hold me up. I threw on my coat, and was about to pick up my bag, then Tony grabbed my hand.

"Waheda…won't you kiss me goodbye?"

Tony held my hand firmly, standing next to me.

I shook my head, and reached down to get my bag.

"No you had plenty of _goodbye_ kisses. No more for you."

Tony replied softly.

"I gave them…you haven't given me a single one…"

I turned around, and looked at him. His pale skin poked out again beneath his shirt. His thin arms so long and scrawny which held mine so tightly, filled mine with heat. He never averted my eyes, and I looked into his. Serious and full of concern for me. As different as he was from me, I did like him, and truly enjoyed my time with him.

"I guess I'll be the one taking then" I leaned in and pressed my lips onto his, slowly wrapping my arms around his neck. I felt his hand slide around my waist. I held the kiss, till I realized time as slipping by. I grinned and bit down on his lips, before pulling away.

"Bye Tony!" I kneeled slightly to get my bag, when I turned back. Tony was shaking his head smiling.

"Bai Shata"

Tony stepped around me and opened the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

I grinned and stepped out the door.

"I have redeemed myself."

Tony chuckled, and leaned in close.

"I could take it all away, you know."

I froze, and shook my head.

"Bye!"


End file.
